Teetering

So.... Night before last, darling husband had an intervention with me. He made me admit that I'm having a lot of problems, and they aren't getting fixed on their own. He said I needed to try therapy. So, I did. I went the first time yesterday. It was hard. I cried so much leading up to it, my anxiety levels were through the roof. I get there, and I'm incredibly nervous and on edge. Then, the secretary asks who I'm married to as we share a last name. I tell her. She knows who he is. the therapist also knows him. They work together on cases. My panic level hits a new high, and it's all I can do to not hyperventilate. I know he's required by law to keep all information to himself, but still. He knows him. He will see him, and he'll know the things I've shared and he'll look at him knowing this. Is my husband a bad person? No, obviously not. But still. I wonder if the trust has been shattered before it has had time to even sprout. I want to vomit. I don't know if I can do this. I have to call to make an appt to take a personality test (the MMPI of course), and he really wants to send me to a psychiatrist to make sure I'm on the right medicines. This is pushing me so close to a complete breakdown. I can feel it. I can barely eat. I am shaky and off balance and I want to run away or throw up.