I'm addicted to Facebook.
Yep. Pretty pathetic huh? It's true though. I found myself connected to FB in one way or another pretty much from the moment I woke up till the second I dozed off. I posted status updates, wrote on walls, commented, uploaded links, videos and pics, chatted with friends, participated in groups, played games. I ignored the love of my life and my baby boy, I neglected to go out and run errands, and I hid from the world. Facebook is so addictive to begin with. And when you don't want to participate in reality, it beckons so alluringly to you. "Come here, Samantha! you can play our super fun games! You can meet all sorts of people that are nice to you! Everyone will like your pictures and everyone will be soooo concerned and interested in all your activities!" For the record, I never just added random people. I do have a collection of online friends that were gained from a pregnancy message board I participated in while .. well.. pregnant. But that's about it.
Hubby has complained of the problem for a while. But I pushed it off, and ignored it as the nagging of a cranky husband. Then I started to think maybe I did have a problem. Maybe he was right, and I HAD gotten sucked into facebookland. But that's idiotic. Who actually gets obsessed with it? geez. Then, we got a phone call from a bill collector about a bill I'd forgotten to pay. Why had I forgotten to pay it? Well, the day I intended to, the weather was icky and I didn't want to get out in rain with the toddler. So I set the cash aside, fully planning to do it 'later'. And got back on facebook. And never did it. *sigh* Luckily it wasn't so bad that it impacted anything except make him incredibly pissed at me. And made me realize he was... right.
Really? I hate when he's right!!! So, I sat down and made a decision on the spot. Those are the ones I'm best at. I temporarily deactivated my facebook account. I took just enough time to change admins on a few groups so they wouldn't be affected by this, and asked one of my best friends to convey a message to the group I populated the most and deactivated it. We talked. We talked, I cried, we talked more, I cried a lot more. We decided I needed a detox from the facebook world for a couple weeks, and would slowly try to work back into it, but only use it in moderation.
M O D E R A T I O N
Well, today is day 3. And it sucks. I miss FB, I miss my friends, and I miss the constant diversions. I also confess that my feelings are a bit hurt. Why? Well, I foolishly thought that a lot of those fb friends, primarily the ones from my old message board, were... well I guess that I thought we were really friends. That's how pathetic it had gotten. So far, I've had a couple stay in contact through other measures, txt and yahoo im, but that's it. In fact, it's like 4-6. One I never even considered would stop talking to me. We're pretty inseparable, despite the distance between our homes. And you know, even though I know it's silly, I feel forgotten. I know that it's nothing so personal as that. But that's how I feel. I was sooo well loved and soooo super cool and sooo sought after for advice and sooo supportive while I was there participating. But now? eh. Time to move on.
So that's the long and short of it. I could have been addicted to alcohol or crack cocaine or any number of things, but I chose the lame way out. haha. :(
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