Just Like Old Times

The past few days have been stressful. Jan is a slow month for the business, and that is bothersome. It is always a slow month. It probably always will be. It's not the end of the world, but still.  And little bear's reflux came back. That was terribly upsetting. You always want your children to be perfectly healthy.  And there was a huge drama in the group that I used to be a member of.. and I'm named as basically a terrible person. I don't want to go into it. It's just tiring. Well, when I deal with stress, I usually lose my appetite. Well, I've really lost it this week. Monday, I had a muffin and 2 slices of cheese pizza. I had the pizza after my blood sugar dropped. Yesterday, I had a bite or two of muffin, a bite or two of pj's lunch, and nothing till 8, when I had some homemade chicken strips. Unfortunately you can't just not eat and expect no side effects.  And of course I had issues.  Yesterday evening, around 5, my levels just crashed.  I was feeling disoriented, then as I was trying to get little bear's dinner made,  I felt very nauseous and realized I was about to pass out. :( So, I grabbed a coke, and as everything started getting really dark I opened it and took a slurp. And laid down on the floor. The cool tile floor felt nice, and my darling little one promptly climbed on top of me and snuggled. After a few sips of soda and several minutes, I was able to sit up again. Hence why I ate the chicken. Plus, they're a favorite.  Usually it's hard to even make myself eat b/c if I do, the food doesn't sit well. So far today I haven't eaten. I'm debating whether I feel like having lunch. I should try to eat something. But. But I've already started down this path. And it's so tempting to just keep it up. The first few days are always hardest, then the body learns to cope with it. I don't know. It's not healthy. But it isn't like I'm not eating anything. I had a plate of chicken strips yesterday, and the day before 2 slices of pizza. That's a normal amount of food, right? I think so. I think it's fine. I'll just wait and see if I'm really hungry or not. I'll eat something for dinner, I'm sure. Otherwise I would get in trouble with DH for not eating. Unless I really didn't feel like eating, and maybe he'll be running late so I can tell him I already ate earlier.. *sigh*  I .. i shouldn't even be in this stupid mindset. Not at all. But it's so hard to get out. It's here and it's comforting.