AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

So haven't posted in a while. Life got crazy. See, the celexa the dr prescribed me ended up making me have a massive panic attack. Last Wednesday life was perfect. I felt better than I had felt in a long time. Then, Thursday, I woke up and felt weird again, and then had a panic attack. Only it wouldn't go away like a normal panic attack. So I called my doctor's office. Their phone lines were all down. It got worse. I called my husband. His cell was at home. That made things worse. I finally reached him through the office but he was between hearings and unable to really help.  So .... I call my mom and an old friend in a complete panic. Both advised me to go somewhere quiet and try to breathe. Well I have a toddler. there's nowhere quiet. I finally reached a gf that works with my dr, and they had me come in. I couldn't drive. Hell, I could barely not hyperventilate.  I was able to reach my therapist and another girlfriend. The therapist helped me calm down and get it to a manageable level and the friend took me to the doctor. I got switched to zoloft and given xanax to deal with the anxiety.  Then, after we picked up my medicine I slammed my pinky in her car door and ended up fracturing the tip. So that really sucked. 

Since then, I had an amazing mother's day. My mom kept peej overnight and we had dinner, then went home and went to bed. Mother's Day was so perfect. I got a new camera, which I wasn't expecting, we ate an amazing brunch at the Arlington hotel, and picked up our darling little bear. It was just an altogether wonderful day.

The zoloft is making me anxious a lot. So I'm having to take xanax to cope with the anxiety so I can at least function somewhat normally. And to add insult to injury, my vehicle died yesterday when I went to pick up little bear after my counselling session.  After having someone come look at it, initial diagnosis is that it's the fuel pump. Joy.

Another day, another pill.

Tonight I took pill #4. Today was my third full day on anti-depressants. So far, I'm even more tired than before, I'm very fuzzy, and my body just downright feels funny. If left to my own devices, I could very well sit and stare at a wall for half the day and sleep the other half. Appetite is super weird as well.  Today I was starving half the day, and I ate more than I've eaten in days. But until then, I've had absolutely zero appetite, and when I try to eat anyway I am only able to get a few bites in before it's not appetizing anymore. Hopefully at some point, things will get more normal.  Tuesday is the MMPI. It makes me anxious.